You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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