I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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