but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
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