My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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