There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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