Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
