he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
