i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
