If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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