People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize
