I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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