she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
