her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
