i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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