Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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