Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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