is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
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