Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
