i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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