The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
