This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
