Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize