Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
