my mouth tastes like poor choices
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
