So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
