i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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