Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
