I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
