What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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