she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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