Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
