do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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