Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
