am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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