Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
