can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize