i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
