a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize