We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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