worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
