Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
My ATM looks so different sober.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
