Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
i think im in europe. pls send help
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