Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
