How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
