Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
