I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
