help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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