the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize