did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
