I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
