She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
