remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My breasts were aching with rage.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
