how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
