Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
