It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
