sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I am midnight drunk by noon
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
