and you said cock pushups were impossible
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Fuck me I smell like cheese
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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