Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
