I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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