You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
